COMMITMENT vs COMPATIBIL​ITY

THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN BY REBBETZIN R. PINTER OF 22 FAIRHOLT ROAD LONDON N 16 5 HW  PHONE 020 8802 3723.

I still remember my mother used to tell
How my uncle's shidduch came about may he be well
The shadchan came to his father,a shidduch to suggest
A girl a Tania a feine -mamesh  the best
My grandfather said: But she's so talkative, full of life
My son is so quiet,how could she be his wife ?
Never mind ,said the shachan , She'll make him talk,
he'll make her tame.
And lo and behold,the  shidduch became       
Sixty years down the line
They're both doing absolutely fine.
Their marriage is as solid as a rock
A house filled with grandchildren kein ayin hara, their stock


Because the word " compatible" was not yet introduced
The word " commitment" was always used.


My father's family was full of fun, humor in every word
My mother's family was serious, of wit they had never heard
They ( my parents ) were so different in many ways
" Incompatible " it's called nowadays
Yet we children grew up in a home, feeling sure
That we are a family, solid and secure.
My parents were married for almost sixty years
And after my father's passing,my mother never dried her tears


Because the word " compatible "  was  not  yet introduced
The word " commitment " was always used.


 I have a relation who's one of a kind
A girl/gem like her was hard to find
Her marriage was a disappointment, the family was upset
Her father tried to encourage a get
Father,she said, Hashem gave him to me
I will stay with him until a hundred and twenty
And now,fifty years later he's a king, she's a queen
Such a lovely couple you have never seen
They built a home where the shechinah can rest
With flying colors they passed the test


Because the word " compatible" was not yet  introduce
The word " commitment " was always used


Part of the problem today is, girls are too bright
It's therefore hard for them to find Mr Right
No one is prepared to commit herself
They expect a perfect shidduch right off the shelf.
She needs a boy spiritually strong
A boy who sits and learns all day long
He must daven ehrlich with the right kavanah
Be righteous  and stable in his emunah
Have middos tovos, be gentle and more
Never to have missed minyan before
Otherwise,her bashert he cannot be
She deserves someone better, you see


With a girl, It's not the same
For  her It's easy to earn a good name
The ladder of success she can climb
Without proving what she does all the time
On Shabbous  and Yom Tov she can sleep all day
Without a rebuke she will get away
She can read a book or just relax a bit
Say some Tehillim if she feels like it
For doing chessed, she'll get extra credit
And if she can also cook blintzes, she's an absolute hit.
She gets a job and makes a good wage
And by the time she reaches the shidduch stage
She considers herself a top catch
So who on earth can be her match ?


When she finally gets married she will expect
Her marriage to be absolutely perfect
The kind she's dreamed of for many years
Without any obstacles, without any cares
She doesn't want to know ,she doesn't understand
That marriage is not a magic wand.
She's not ready to accept to relent
That  no one is perfect a hundred percent


Dear single,dear doubles,let's get this straight
Chochmas nashim does not mean " dictate "
Chochmas nashim means to build,not to brake
To be able to give, not expecting to take
To guide,to help,to be able to ensure
That her home is a place safe and secure
Whatever the situation,she should be able to cope
To instill in her family courage and hope.
Sometimes there are challenges hard to get by
But she will succeed if she will only try.
Adjust to your partner is what you need to do
Because then life will adjust to you
Then Hashem will help you build a family
And live ever together happily.

HIDABROOT

SOMEONE TOLD ME YESTERDAY THAT IN 1948 WHEN THE UN VOTE WAS TAKING PLACE TO ESTABLISH THE STATE OF ISRAEL THE SATMAR RABBI Z.L. SAID THAT THE VOTE WONT GO THROUGH AND THEY WILL NOT HAVE A STATE,
WELL HE WAS WRONG
THEN HE SAID THAT THE STATE WONT LAST MORE THEN THIRTY YEARS AND THAT THERE WILL NOT BE A GROWTH IN TORAH.
WELL THANK G-D HE WAS WRONG IN THAT TOO.

WHEN I WAS IN YESHIVA IN 1962 ,THE TO-DAY BELZR RABBI GOT A LOT OF HADROCHO.
( HE WAS STILL A BOCHER ) FROM THE GERER RABBI THE BEIS YISROEL Z.L.
( I SAW THAT WITH MY OWN EYES ).
HE WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN MAKING HIM A RABBE.
( HE SAW IN HIM THE FUTURE GENERATION ) AND WHAT A REBBE IN THE 2000 NEEDS TO BE AND HAVE.

TO - DAY WHEN I SEE THE HIDABROOT WHICH THE BELZER RABBE HAS ESTABLISHED, .
I UNDERSTAND THE BEIS YISROEL.
THROUGH THE INTERNET AND THE T.V, CHANNELS WE HAVE A CHANCE TO REACH AND TEACH THOUSANDS AND MAYBE MILLIONS OF YIDEN WHAT TORAH IS.
THEY SAY WE SHOULD NOT MOVE AWAY FROM THE OLD WAYS.

DO I SEE THESE RABBES TRAVELING IN A HORSE AND CART OR NOT USING THE LUXURIES WHICH TIME HAS BROUGHT ?
I WAS MOST AMAZED TO SEE HOW MANY HEIMISHER CHASIDISER PEOPLE HAVE INTERNET.
SOMEONE EVEN SAID TO ME WATCHING YOUR PROGRAM ON INTERNET OR I POD IS NOT TELEVISION.

AND I AM NOT  TALKING JUST ABOUT ENGLAND.
THE  JEWISH TRIBUNE EVEN WRITES ABOUT IT ( DID THEY ASK THE RABBONIM )
WHICH CAUSED EVEN MORE FRUM PEOPLE TO WATCH
( I DID NOT MAKE THE PROGRAM FOR THEM ).
I HOPE B"H I HAVE OPENED  PEOPLE'S  EYES TO THE REAL PROBLEMS IN OUR SOCIETY.
BLACK MAIL, BLACK MAIL, AND AGAIN BLACK MAIL.

I FINISH WITH THE WORDS OF MY DEAR ESHES CHYEL WHICH THE LEV SIMCHA SAID TO ME
IN A YIDISHER WIFE DEPENDS THE WHOLE YIDISHER HOME
WE ARE FREE! ! !

AMY WINEHOUSE

I HAVE READ THROUGH THE FOUR PULLOUT PAGES TRIBUTE TO AMY WINEHOUSE.
HER FATHER,MITCH WINEHOUSE, GAVE A FANTASTIC VIEW OF HIS AND AMYS JEWISH ROOTS  AND BACKGROUND. 
THEY WROTE ABOUT HER BOBBA,
" SHE'D OPEN UP HER BAG AND ASK WHAT ARE YOU EATING?"
" I'VE GOT A BIT OF CHICKEN OR A BIT OF FISH "
THEIR JEWISH RELIGION WAS FOOD ,HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR ,AND AGAIN FOOD,
ALSO BEING ABLE TO SAY A FEW WORDS IN YIDDISH.

YOU MUST NOT SAY THIS ABOUT A DEAD PERSON, BUT SHE WAS A DISGRACE TO THE JEWISH ( LIGHT UPON THE NATIONS )
PEOPLE.
G-D GAVE THEM A DAUGHTER WITH TALENT THAT PULLED THEM OUT OF POVERTY FROM THE EAST END
AND SHE BECAME A DRUG-ADDICT AND DRUNK.
WHAT  AN  ANGEL ? ?
WHAT TRIBUTE ?
BUT THAT'S REFORM SYNAGOGUE EDUCATION FOR YOU.
I DO NOT THINK THE UNITED SYNAGOGUES ARE ANY BETTER.
ONLY THE REFORM DID NOT EVEN BURY  HER IN  THE JEWISH WAY IN EDGWAREBURY LANE CEMETERY.

MITCH TALKED 30 MINUTES ABOUT HIS DAUGHTER'S TROUBLED LIFE,
WHICH SHE BROUGHT ON TO HERSELF THROUGH DRUGS AND DRINK ,
MUMMY AND DADDY LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND THEN INCLUDED THE KADISH PRAYER.
THEN  AMY WAS  TAKEN  BY THE LOVING MUMMY AND DADDY TO GOLDERS GREEN CREMATORIUM
AND CREMATED JUST LIKE THE PEOPLE IN AUSCHWITZ! !
GOOD NIGHT MY ANGEL BURN BRIGHT.

HATE MAIL

YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN YOU GET  HATE MAIL.
I DO NOT LIKE IT ,WHEN YOU USE YOUR PAPER ,TO INDICATE ,THAT EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT IN OUR SOCIETY.
WHICH IS NOT TRUE ASK OSHER SHAPIRO AND THE DROP-OUTS.

EVEN IN YOUR OFFICE THERE ARE COUNTLESS COUPLES WHO ARE DIVORCED AND DON'T GET ALONG,
BE PLEASED I AM NOT MENTIONING NAMES .
WITH A BIT OF PROPER EDUCATION BEFORE THEY GOT MARRIED,
WHAT MARRIAGE IN THE TORAH IS ABOUT, THEY WOULD HAVE STAYED TOGETHER
BUT YOU AS ALWAYS PUSH EVERYTHING UNDER THE CARPET.

YOU WROTE ABOUT ME WITHOUT CONSULTING ME,WHICH IS WRONG .
EVEN IF YOU DO NOT PUBLISH THESE LETTERS
THEY GET FORWARDED FROM ONE TO THE OTHER AND IN A FEW DAYS THE WHOLE TOWN SEES MY POINTS .

JEWISH TRIBUNE

BIG PICTURES ,I LICK YOU , YOU  LICK ME PICTURES .
A FEW OLD PICTURES BY ELI SILBERMAN ( NO CREDIT GIVEN ) 
THREE ARTICLES ON ONE PAGE.
NO FEATURES ARTICLES.

HERE AND THERE RECALLING THE PAST
RABBI S BAUMGARTEN DID NOT GET ON WITH THE ADATH YISROEL
THE ADATH HATED THE SO CALLED 69 PEOPLE THEY EVEN STOLE HALF THE GARDEN TO BUILD ARBOR COURT.

RABBI SCHONFELD WAS A GREAT MAN, BUT HONEST WITH MONEY HE WAS NOT.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BELIEVE ME ASK THE DAUGHTER ,RABITZEN BELLA STERN OR THE SON ,YIDDEL BAUMGARTEN.
THE 80 OF THEIR MEMBERS WHERE FORCED TO TAKE ON THE ADATH MEMBERSHIP THERE ARE BOOKS OF MINUTES HELD BY THE GRUNHUT FAMILY
LET THEM PUBLISH  IT IN THE TRIBUNE.
AT LEAST ONE WEEK YOU WILL HAVE  GOOD SALES.

AGUDA

PADDY WIVELL CAME TO ME YESTERDAY
HE ASKED ME  A QUESTION  (ON CAMERA ) HOW COME THE TRIBUNE ARE AS MUCH AGAINST YOU AS THE  J.C
TWO PAPERS ONE ORTHODOX ,AND ONE NOT ORTHODOX ,HAVE THE SAME VIEW.
I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT A B.T. IS
A NONE ORTHODOX PERSON BECOMING ORTHODOX.

I EXPLAINED TO HIM THAT A NONE ORTHODOX PERSON BE COMING ORTHODOX ,
DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE NONE ORTHODOX VIEWS HE HAD BE FOR, GO AWAY
DEEP INSIDE HIM THEY ARE STILL THERE, AND THE DISLIKE OF AN ORTHODOX  JEW.
THE TRIBUNE EDITOR IS A B.T. AND DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING AND EXP LINING 613 MITZVOT
A JEWISH PERSON HAS TO THE WORLD .
EVEN MOST OF THE STAFF AT THE AGUDA, ARE IGNORANT PEOPLE, AND THEY THINK LIKE THE J.C.

YOU CAN SEE THIS FROM ALEX STROMS ARTICLE,
THAT THE MAIN AIM OF A JEW IS TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON THE WORLD
AND THEN THERE WILL BE LESS ANTISEMITISM.

THE DIRECTOR OF THE AGUDA IS ALSO A B.T. AND HAS LEARNT A BIT MORE THEN THE EDITOR
BUT BY FAR THERE IS STILL A LOT HE DOES NOT KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
HE HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN  THE SEED PROGRAM
BUT THAT DOES NOT MAKE  HIM KNOWLEDGEABLE IN TORAH AND MITZVAOT.

WHAT IS A JEW

IN THE HAGADAH WE SAY.
IF HE HAD ( G-D ) BROUGHT US BEFORE MOUNT SINAI, BUT NOT GIVEN US THE TORAH, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN  SATISFIED US.

THE QUESTION IS, HOW WOULD THAT HAVE SATISFIED US, IF THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF GOING OUT OF EGYPT AND GETTING TO MOUNT SINAI,
WAS TO GET THE TORAH.

THE ANSWER IS THAT IT WOULD HAVE SATISFIED US ,
BECAUSE AT MOUNT SINAI WE WERE ONE PEOPLE, NOT ALL THE SAME BUT WITH ONE AIM.
AS WE FINISH THE GRACE AFTER MEALS WE SAY ,THE LAST PRAYER ,
HASHEM WILL GIVE MIGHT TO HIS PEOPLE ,( AS WE SAW IN THE SIX DAY WAR )
HASHEM WILL BLESS HIS PEOPLE WITH PEACE.

I WAS IN ISRAEL AT THE TIME OF THE SIX DAY WAR.
I SAY THIS WITH TEARS IN MY EYES ,
ALL THE PEOPLE WERE ONE, FROM SECULAR TO NETUREI  KARTA. THEY ALL TURNED TO THE RIBONO SHEL OLAM TO PRAY.
THATS WHAT WE NEED TO REMEMBER ON SHAVUOT WE ARE ONE
AND NEED TO PRAY AS ONE.

TELEVISION (2)

WHY ARE JEWISH PEOPLE RELIGIOUS ,OR NOT RELIGIOUS,
FRIGHTENED OF A TRUE PROGRAM ABOUT THEM COMING ON TELEVISION. I EXPLAINED THAT BEING JEWISH IS NOT A RACE ,BUT A  RELIGION .
WE GOT THE TORAH ,THAT IS THE 613 MITZVOTH ,ON MOUNT SINAI ,THAT IS WHEN WE BECAME JEWISH.

AND EVERYONE TO- DAY WHO WANTS TO BECOME JEWISH ,AND ACCEPTS ,THE 613 MITZVOTH,
IS AS JEWISH AS I AM .
IF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT THE 613 MITZVOTH ,THEN YOU ARE NOT SO JEWISH AS YOU THINK, EVEN IF YOU ARE BORN A JEW.

ABOUT THE BOYS WHO WENT TO UMAN ( THE SO CALLED DROP- OUTS FROM OSHER SHAPRIO ) WE HAVE IN STAMFORD HILL, NEARLY 100 CHILDREN ,WHO HAVE PROBLEMS WITH BEING ACCEPTED IN SCHOOLS ,
ARE YOU SURPRISED ,AFTER THE DEGRADING ,OF THESE CHILDREN THAT THEY TURN OUT TO BE DROP- OUTS? ( ASK OSHER SHAPRIO )THE ONLY SCHOOL IN THE STAMFORD HILL AREA WHO ACCEPT EVERY JEWISH CHILD IS LUBAVTICH.

TELEVISION

I WAS DISAPPOINTED IN THIS WEEKS JEWISH TRIBUNE THAT THERE WAS NO TELEVISION REVIEW OF.
THIS WEEKS PROGRAMS BY ONE OF THE AGUDA RABBIS OR AT LEAST BY
AVROHOM ZONSZAJN OR ALEX STROM
AS A PRESIDENT HAS NOW BEEN SET THAT REPORTING OF A TELEVISION PROGRAM IS PERMITTED IN THE TRIBUNE .
I HOPE LIKE ALL LETTERS AND E MAILS TO THE EDITOR OF THE JEWISH TRIBUNE WHICH GET PASSED EVERYWHERE.
PUBLIC PRESSURE WILL PREVAIL AND A TELEVISION REVIEW PROGRAM WILL BE INCLUDED IN THE WEEKLY TRIBUNE.
MAYBE  BY  BEN ESOPH OR BEN YITCHOK .
                                                                                        GABY  LOCK
P.S. COULD INCLUDE THIS IN YOUR LETTER PAGE

THE JEWISH CHRONICLE

IF I CAN READ THE J.C. ONLINE FOR NOTHING,
WHY SHOULD I PAY FOR A SUBSCRIPTION ?
I THINK THAT THE FUTURE OF NEWSPAPERS ARE OUT. YOU SHOULD DO AS THE L.J.N. HAS DONE AND CONCENTRATE ON ADVERTS AND BE A FREE NEWSPAPER ( I HAVE GIVEN THIS ADVICE TO THE JEWISH TRIBUNE AS WELL ) .

IN YOUR SUBSCRIPTION LETTER TO ME YOU WRITE " KEEPING YOU INFORMED OF EVERYTHING WHICH IS OF INTEREST TO YOU AS A JEW".
BUT FROM YOUR PAPER A PERSON CAN GET THE IMPRESSION THAT BEING A JEW IS FASHION, TRAVEL,BUSINESS,SPORT,ARTS COVERAGE, ETC ,ETC,
NOT A WORD TO YOUR GENERAL JEWISH PUBLIC,THAT WE BECAME JEWISH ON MOUNT SINAI  BY EXCEPTING THE TORAH AND KEEPING THE  613 MITZVOTH FROM G-D.

THAT WE ARE A RELIGION AND NOT A RACE.
ANYONE EVEN TO- DAY WHO EXCEPTS AND KEEPS THE TORAH THE 613 MITZVOTH IS A JEW LIKE YOU OR ME.
EVEN A  BORN JEWISH PERSON WHO DOES NOT KEEP THE MITVOTH AND SPECIALLY NOT THE SHABOS HAS A DIN OF A GOY  ( A NON JEW ).
AN EXAMPLE IS IF HE TOUCHES WINE  I CAN NOT DRINK IT.

THERE ARE MANY MORE EXAMPLES. ASK THE CHIEF RABBI IF I AM NOT RIGHT.
A JEW IS NOT A PERSON WHO BELONGS TO A CERTAIN SECT, EVEN IF THEY GO WITH STREIMELS TO THE SKY AND LONG COATS TO THE FLOOR.
A JEWISH WOMAN IS NOT A LADY WHO COVERS HERSELF THAT ONLY ONE EYE IS SHOWING.

I AM VERY SORRY THAT THE IGNORANCE IN STAMFORD HILL AND IN YOUR NON RELIGIOUS WORLD,
WHO AND WHAT IS A JEW IS SO GREAT.

YOU CAN PUT THIS LETTER IN YOUR PAPER.