BEING HONEST

I AM NEARLY AT THE END OF THE FIRST YEAR OF THE PASSING ON OF MY DEAR WIFE TIKWAH A.H
IN LIFE IT IS HARD TO BE HONEST WITH MYSELF ADMITING THE PAIN I HAVE WITH WANTING TO LOVE HASHEM AND FEEL NEARER TO HASHEM
KNOWING THAT EVERY THING HASHEM DOES IS FOR YOUR GOOD
WE ARE GETTING TO ראש השנה AND I FEEL SCARED THAT I CAN NOT PRAY PROPERLY
AS THE FUTURE IS ANY WAY WHAT HASHEM WANTS AND DOSE
WHAT VALUE HAVE MY PRAYERS GOT
I TRY TO MOVE AWAY FROM THESE THOUGHTS IN  MY MIND  BUT THEY KEEP COMING BACK AND DISTURB MY CONECTION TO HASHEM
WHAT I DO PRAY TO G-D AND ASK HIM FOR HELP IS TO BELIEV IN HASHEM AND OPEN MY EYES TO UNDERSTAND  HASHEM WAYS אמן.
YOU CAN PHONE ME ON  07944119448