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Sun 4 Nov, 22:07 (15 hours ago)
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Dear Mr. Lock,
My Jewish name is Shlomo Menachem Mendel. I was born in a Catholic
family with Jewish origins. My father allegedly was a descendant of a
relative of rabbi Chayim Vital. His grandmother was a Vitale
(italianization of Vital).
Because I couldn't find proofs of Jewish origins of my mother, 22 years
ago I made a giyur in Eretz. I don't like the word "ger" because I am
far from being a stranger. I am a Yid! It's hard to be Jewish and still
harder to be a Ger.
I am 47, I am not married, I have no children and I constantly try to be
good Jew. What I lack is a role model. I lived the half of my life in
Austria where I studied and I achieved a Master Degree and worked and
then I lived 6 years in Switzerland where I worked.
I am an ashkenazi Yid and in Italy, especially here in Naples, there is
no Ashkenazi or chassid. From my name you understand that I studied with
Lubavitch chassidim. I chose as name Shlomo like Shlomo HaMelech and
Menachem Mendel like the Lubavitcher Rebbe Z"L.
Dear Mr. Lock, if I am writing you is because I saw you in the video: "A
hasidic Guide to love..." on youtube. I was very positively impressed
from you and your wife. A woman who is so open minded to shake the hand
with a male journalist although she is hasidic, deserves all my respect
and esteem. She is really unique.
I grew up in a secular words, I study secular philosophy, history and so
on. I wear a bekishe on Shabbes but I am very different from the
chassidim. You would call me a philosopher. In myself there are 2 souls:
a hasidic one and a philosophical one. I have to find a bridge between
the 2 souls and it's not easy. Therefore I am writing you. I don't have
a role model to follow and I would like to have you as role model. You
could be my father and you were a teacher. Forget please that I am 47
and help me like I would be much much younger.
I tried to move to Eretz but, frankly, every time I try to go closer to
a more orthodox Yiddishkeit, I get scared. Nobody speaks my language (I
don't mean Italian but an academic language). I was in a yeshiva for few
days but I am afraid, the yeshiva didn't suit me.
If Rabbi Akiva learned with 40, maybe I can learn with 47 or 48 or why
not with 50.
I am very confused because I don't find a rabbi or a moreh who can help
me to live jewish and at the same time to avoid having the feeling that
I am betraying my academic studies and mindset.
What should I do? The only rabbi who "speaks" my language is rabbi
Jonathan Sacks. In his Divrei Torah he quotes from Talmud and from
secular philosophy and culture. The other rabbis are tolmidim chochomim
but they think that everything outside Judaism is treyfe and quite
forbidden.
I am in a very bad situation because of these strong struggles in myself.
Should I give up, Chas VeSholem, to try to be a Haredi? Don't I have a
single chance to be religious but without giving up my philosophical soul?
I hope, you can help me. Otherwise tell me which rabbi can help me please.
A gute Vokh!
My Jewish name is Shlomo Menachem Mendel. I was born in a Catholic
family with Jewish origins. My father allegedly was a descendant of a
relative of rabbi Chayim Vital. His grandmother was a Vitale
(italianization of Vital).
Because I couldn't find proofs of Jewish origins of my mother, 22 years
ago I made a giyur in Eretz. I don't like the word "ger" because I am
far from being a stranger. I am a Yid! It's hard to be Jewish and still
harder to be a Ger.
I am 47, I am not married, I have no children and I constantly try to be
good Jew. What I lack is a role model. I lived the half of my life in
Austria where I studied and I achieved a Master Degree and worked and
then I lived 6 years in Switzerland where I worked.
I am an ashkenazi Yid and in Italy, especially here in Naples, there is
no Ashkenazi or chassid. From my name you understand that I studied with
Lubavitch chassidim. I chose as name Shlomo like Shlomo HaMelech and
Menachem Mendel like the Lubavitcher Rebbe Z"L.
Dear Mr. Lock, if I am writing you is because I saw you in the video: "A
hasidic Guide to love..." on youtube. I was very positively impressed
from you and your wife. A woman who is so open minded to shake the hand
with a male journalist although she is hasidic, deserves all my respect
and esteem. She is really unique.
I grew up in a secular words, I study secular philosophy, history and so
on. I wear a bekishe on Shabbes but I am very different from the
chassidim. You would call me a philosopher. In myself there are 2 souls:
a hasidic one and a philosophical one. I have to find a bridge between
the 2 souls and it's not easy. Therefore I am writing you. I don't have
a role model to follow and I would like to have you as role model. You
could be my father and you were a teacher. Forget please that I am 47
and help me like I would be much much younger.
I tried to move to Eretz but, frankly, every time I try to go closer to
a more orthodox Yiddishkeit, I get scared. Nobody speaks my language (I
don't mean Italian but an academic language). I was in a yeshiva for few
days but I am afraid, the yeshiva didn't suit me.
If Rabbi Akiva learned with 40, maybe I can learn with 47 or 48 or why
not with 50.
I am very confused because I don't find a rabbi or a moreh who can help
me to live jewish and at the same time to avoid having the feeling that
I am betraying my academic studies and mindset.
What should I do? The only rabbi who "speaks" my language is rabbi
Jonathan Sacks. In his Divrei Torah he quotes from Talmud and from
secular philosophy and culture. The other rabbis are tolmidim chochomim
but they think that everything outside Judaism is treyfe and quite
forbidden.
I am in a very bad situation because of these strong struggles in myself.
Should I give up, Chas VeSholem, to try to be a Haredi? Don't I have a
single chance to be religious but without giving up my philosophical soul?
I hope, you can help me. Otherwise tell me which rabbi can help me please.
A gute Vokh!